Managing rage in perimenopause
Rage is tricky.
We aren’t often show an image of an angry women without negative associations. Spiteful, crazy, shrill, opinionated, out of control.
Anger is difficult for us to manage. We aren’t really taught to.
As women, we can be sweet and kind, sexy and hot, successful and accomplished, nice and friendly.
But not angry.
And then there’s her big sister, rage.
When anger explodes out of us. We can feel ashamed and out of control.
And when we’re at that stage in our menstrual cycle when our levels of progesterone and oestrogen are low, when our brains are challenged as a result and our energy and resilience are low….well…that’s when rage can strike. And it’s not pleasant. It’s scary. It can be terrifying for the kids, your partner, your colleagues.
I think there are some important ways we can help ourselves here.
Forgive yourself. If you’ve lost your temper and that red mist descended. Apologise if you need to and forgive yourself. Staying in a feeling of shame after the event can only make you feel worse.
Become aware. Make a note of days when that rage is closer to the surface, perhaps in your journal or menstrual cycle tracker. It’s often in the latter part of our cycle, or can be in response to changes in medication, stress or sleep pattern.
Notice if you have any particular triggers (school run or bedtime if you have children, a particular comment or situation you’re in, or a particular colleague or friend). And when you notice them, see if you can change your behaviours or your thinking pattern around them. I’ve got a great NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) technique I use with clients for this.
Balance your blood sugar. What does that mean? Regular meals and snacks with a good balance of protein, healthy fats, slow release carbohydrates and plenty of fruit and veg. Avoid too much caffeine or sugary drinks. We don’t want to add hanger to pre menstrual rage triggers, I promise.
Sleep and rest well. If you notice that the rage descends in the latter part of your cycle, perhaps pay more attention to rest and sleep as well as good nutrition. Allow yourself space and calm. Easier said than done, but even a regular deep breath can help.
Super simple tips, but I hope one or two of those might resonate and help.
If you’d like a quick chat about your own rage strategies drop me a line.